CONVERSATION WITH A KID

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff- grass - Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

Work allotment .........

UN Assembly - India vs. Pakistan..

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in theUnitedNations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my talk I want totellyou something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir isnamed.When Rishi Kashyap struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought,'What a good opportunity to have a bath.'He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. APakistanihad stolen them.The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and in support thePakistan, he shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't therethen.'The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'

Poor man's iPhone

Story: Critics

Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under disciplehood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills of skills so he decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery.
Suddenly an idea flashed in his mind and he decided to display it on a busy street-square of that small town he was resident of. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills..
He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.
Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his masters place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying inconsolably he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with marks everywhere. Such was the state that colors were not visible, only things one could see were crosses and correction remarks.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.. I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting."
Young disciple couldn't believe it and said "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough.. don't make false hopes.."
"Do as I say without questioning it.. It WILL work." Master interrupted him.
"Just paint exactly similar painting once again for me and give it to me. Will you do that for your master?.." Master instructed.
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.
"Come with me." master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."
Master and disciple walked back home.
They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. But master wasn't satisfied as yet and he told his disciple "May be one day was too little a time for people to come up with ideas and take out time out of their busy schedules to correct it so let us keep it here for one more day. Tomorrow is Sunday, so we can expect some corrections coming in."
Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched..
They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!

Moral of the Story: It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improveIf you want to help people improve their behaviour it is worth investing your effort in learning how help people change their behaviours, attitudes and skills.

Joke: ARE U A KANNADIGA....

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates assembled in a large room.
One candidate is Raghu , an Indian guy.Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA programs to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Raghu says toHimself, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'llGive it a try".Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing morethan 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Raghu says to himself"I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stays.Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas toleave. 500 people leave the room. Raghu says to himself , "I left school at15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbian - Croat toleave. 498 people leave the room.Raghu says to himself, " I do not speak one word of Serbian - Croat but whatdo I have to lose?" So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.Bill Gates joined them and said "Apparently you are the only two candidateswho speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversationtogether in that language." Calmly, Raghu turns to the other candidate and says "En guru, aarama?"The other candidate answers "Nann magane, Sooryange Torcha??"
;)

GAANCHALI BIDI, KANNADA MAATHAADI!!

Joke: Perfect Sales...............

Ek bar ek Shopping Mall ne ek naya Gujarati Salesman hire kiya. Sale badhne lagi-din dugni, raat chauguni.Boss ne socha is ladke se mujhe milna hai. Boss Mall par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bechrahatha.Woh door khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. Customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-.Yeh kahkar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mehange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek pair sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye.Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuchch eatables, wafer, biscuits, bhi le jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid li.Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka.Boss bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa . . aur tumane usey itna sara samaan bech diya, very good...............

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Ladka bola, ' Sir, woh aadmi to 'Stayfree' napkin kharidane ayaa tha uski biwi ke liye, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega, '"Jaa Machli Pakad'"

Joke: Bank robbery !

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is giventhe money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see merob this bank?"The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."The robber then shot him, killed him instantly.He then turned to a couple standing next and asked the man, "Did yousee me rob this bank?"The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did."